Moving to the North Pole. (And away from Mrs. Bennet!)

This is a post that I have continuously talked myself out of.
Why?
Because I don't like stepping on people's toes. (Is that grammatically correct?)
However, there has been such an onslaught of this topic in my life recently that I feel like something must be said.  So if you are not in the mood for some slight 20 year old ranting, I suggest you come back for another post.

(I am writing this as myself, obviously, but am also hoping to convey some thoughts from many other young women around me.)

 **Disclaimer: I am not a grown up.  Nope.  I am not married, engaged, a mother, nor do I presently have a career.  So there are some adult perspectives and experiences that clearly I have not yet encountered. This is strictly from my still-a-kid perspective.

As kids (teenagers in particular), I feel like it is easy to become embarrassed and frustrated with our parents.  I don't know, maybe you and your mom were bff's while you were in high school, if so, good for you! But as we get a little older and some of us move off to college and begin for the most part to do our own things, the grown-ups in our lives seem to become far less humiliating and more understanding (or maybe it's us becoming less of a pain in the rear).  However, there is one area that is becoming more and more frustrating as time goes on. And yes, it's worse than your parents sneaking into the back of a movie to spy on you.

I'm not sure if it is the same for guys as it is for us girls, but we can't even hardly go home to see family and friends without someone (usually over the age of 35, just saying) wanting to play 20 Questions with us about our love lives.  And I know southern women in particular are just nosey people, but I really don't think they understand how discouraging and awkward that those conversations tend to be.


If you fall into the "grown-up" age category and are still not quite sure what I am referring to, here are some of my favorite examples:

"How's school? Are you dating anybody?"
Wait, which question am I supposed to answer and why do those topics go together?

"You found you a cute boy to marry yet?"
Uh, no.  I couldn't even find a pair of clean socks to wear this morning.

"Oh! Well I know this real nice young man! Would you like to meet him?!"
No, thank you though. 

"You and your cousin would make a cute couple if you want to keep it in the family, sweetie!"
...what the heck, grandma...

"How are you and that boy? He sure is cute! (*Sappy sigh*) Y'all would have such adorable children!"
(*Blushes 3 shades of red*) In 5 to 10 years MAYBE. But, uh, thank you?

"You must be knocking them dead at school, honey!"
Sorry to disappoint, but no, I'm really not...

"Are you into girls now? You haven't had a boyfriend in so long..."
...so I'm gay?

"You two are just SO cute together, are y'all going to get married??"
Maybe? Perhaps? Probably? I'm not really even sure what I'm eating for dinner tonight...

"Don't come home with a boy unless he put a ring on your finger!"
Ok! Sheesh... 

How awkward are we shooting for here, because I'm pretty sure we just hit a new record!
Honest to goodness, I promise I did not make a single one of those up.  I asked girls around my age and a little older, and these are things that people (with really good intentions) actually say to us.  No lie.  A few of these quotes were things girls' parents have said to them, which makes me count it as a huge blessing that my parents never ask anything like this when I'm home with them.  (Cause my parents are the bomb y'all.)  And I know it's not intended this way, but constantly questioning the status of your child's love interests kinda seems like you want to be rid of them.

It's very Mrs. Bennet. And nobody wants to be Mrs. Bennet.

In our everyday lives, there are plenty of events that (unintentionally) put on the pressure of finding someone special, and when we do to marry them quick! I mean, time is ticking after all!

...umm, excuse me? Yeah, I'm just trying to pass this really hard class/ work/ learn how to take care of myself.

I have a few sets of friends who are at that place in life, have found their special someone, and are planning beautiful weddings!  But I can't hardly enjoy, much less attend, a single bridal shower without some sweet older lady giving me a patronizing look and assuring me that my turn will come soon.  I mean, don't get me wrong weddings are pretty and fun, and marriage is an awesome adventure that I would like to enjoy some day, but there really are some of us who are fine where we are in life.  Really.

Plus, the way some adults talk about us young'uns getting married is pretty confusing. The cycle generally goes like this:

1. If you aren't dating they try to find you someone.
2. When you do find someone to date, they ask when you're getting married.
3. Then, when you do get engaged and set a date, they just comment on how the two of you "sure are awfully young to be getting married!"

Come on, people.

Then there are those other grown ups.  The ones who want to be grandparents so bad that they act like the sole reason they are happy for you to get married is so that you can start cranking out grandkids for them to play with.  I have multiple friends who can't even post anything related to their future or brand new spouse on social media without one of their parents or grandparents commenting about how they can't wait to have grandchildren who they are positive will be absolutely the most adorable things in the whole world!

Gag me with mashed peas.

That's worse than the sappiness of the original post by the doting fiancé.

You know what talk of grandkids would make me want to do?
MOVE TO THE STINKIN' NORTH POLE AND LIVE WITH SANTA AND MRS. CLAUS WHERE IT'S CHRISTMAS ALL YEAR AND I CAN DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE AND HANG OUT WITH THE REINDEER AND NO ONE CAN MAKE ME FEEL WEIRD ABOUT MY LIFE.

Oozing maturity. I know.


In all reality, I (probably) wouldn't move to the North Pole.
And I don't want to be misunderstood here.  I (along with all the great young women in my life) are so very thankful for older, godly men and women who are such wonderful examples for us!  Y'all are some of the best teachers, and there is so much wisdom you continuously share.  We truly are so appreciative for the various roles you play in our lives, and we owe a lot of who we are to your tireless patience and guidance.

In light of that, please continue to be patient with us as we are still figuring things out.  Try to remember what it was like to be 20, or 24, or 27 and deciding who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. Trust us to let you know when something epically romantic happens for us.  Believe me, you will all get invitations. In the mean time, simply love us where we are, no matter how slow you think we are moving.  Most of us will take all the encouragement we can get.