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Here goes nothing!

 So, I got the idea of starting a blog from my mom (who is a totally AMAZING woman of God), and after sleeping on it I decided it wasn't such a bad idea. I am simply going to share some of my life and things that I learn with the world.  Not that the whole world necessarily wants to know my daily thoughts, but anyone that does is welcome to whatever I share! Warning: I am a rabbit chaser, long winded, my grammar is also not that of a best-selling author, I misspell words, use dashes-commas-and ALL CAPS frequently and perhaps inappropriately, but that is okay. :) oh yeah-smileys too ;)  I do enjoy writing, and believe that God bestows gifts to us for us to use-so here goes nothing-hope you enjoy!
  P.S.- I will not begin every entry with an awkward intro. That was just for today. :)

Alright so I got laughed at by a REALLY cute guy today, and then God used it to teach me later (of course).  See, my roommate, Shelly, and I are walking back from the overflow parkinglot-which is like walking from stinkin' Egypt 'cause that's how far it is from our postage stamp of a room, and today it was like walking from the North Pole because it was SUPER cold-you know, like 58 degrees. Anywho, we are walking up this hill, she is telling me a story about something and I am doing that walk where you look down the whole time and step on all the leaves that look like they will make a nice, loud, squished-a-big-roach, crunchy sound.  Basically I look like a six year old, and these two guys are walking towards us on the side walk and when they get close to us I look up at them to find the one closest to me clearly watching me crunch leaves like a six year old. So I blush and laugh a little at being caught, and he grins at me and laughs too. It sounds like a 5 minute exchange, but it was really like 20 seconds MAYBE.  This sounds totally random, but is actually a typical occurrence in my life.  If there is a cute guy around, I will do or say something completely awkward (like nearly tripping and stepping all over myself in order to crunch a leaf)-not even thinking about it at the time then later I am left to imagine how absolutely dorky I probably looked.  Which is completely okay with me, I mean, I am a dork-I sleep on the star wars sheets to prove it!  Back to the cutie with the nice laugh-it was a total chick flick moment all the way! He was tall with broad shoulders, a friendly smile, and a genuine laugh.  The thing is, he didn't turn around and ask for my name.  I mean, with my luck, he is more than likely taken, or doesn't know and love Jesus (which would be a BIG problem)-I get it.  I just had a selfish, impatient moment where I began thinking, "of course he didn't come ask my name because guys nowadays are all fat wimps and won't go after a girl which is totally the reason I am still single!" Makes sense, right? Hahaha! Wrong.  Yes, a guy should pursue a girl if she is someone he wants in his life as more than a friend, BUT that is not the reason I am chillin' in single town.  God knows what he is doing with me and my love story.  I just get impatient easily-I am in a world where lots of girls who have no problem going after a guy, settle with whoever will look their way, or stick with the wrong guy because it is a piece of consistency they are afraid to let go.  Then there's all the engaged people-I have three weddings this upcoming spring! Needless to say, while single town has its perks, it gets old. The cool thing God does with my impatience? (This is my favorite part!!!) He constantly humbles me with it-here's what happened next:
At bible study tonight we continued a talk from last week about evangelism. Yuck. I love my sweet Jesus, but frankly, evangelism is HARD for me.  I am very non-confrontational and a total wimp.  I can talk to strangers-I just choose not to.  Which is totally dumb.  If Christ is telling me to speak to someone about him-then my answer should be obedience, not prideful shyness. We discussed how we are so afraid to share the BEST GIFT EVER, and how that is totally stupid because it really is the BEST GIFT EVER. (Ephesians 2:4)  It changes lives. We should be so excited about Christ and what he has done in our lives that we could run around screaming it and jumping up and down!!  We should love others enough to share him and his unfailing love with them.  Funny thing about the evangelism discussion: the more we talked about how we are afraid to share-the more I thought about cute guy that didn't want to know my name.  Get it? There I was being all bitter about not only my circumstance, but also about how apparently no guy is gutsy enough to ask me out...and I'm not even gutsy enough go after people with the greatest love of all time.  God took me by the shoulders and said, "sweetheart, stop and look for a minute.  This isn't about you, T-Bo, (cause God calls me T-Bo like my down here daddy does) it is all about me! :) You need to chill out, because I've got all the "wimpy" guys under control-stop fretting and wishing things were different than what I have given you.  I am enough for you sweet girl.  Just love me, love others, and let's see what I am going to do-I promise it is going to be awesome."  So there it is-and here I am.  Completely humbled and challenged-not only to be bold with the gospel, but content in my circumstances as well. (1 Corinthians 7:20; Galatians 5:7; James 1:2-4) Biggest thing I have learned at college so far: God is God and I am NOT.

Comments

  1. Very nice, Tori. Very nice. Keep writing. Even when you think nobody is reading. For me, writing is therapeutic. It helps me organize and understand my feelings about things. It helps me relieve stress. All sorts of helpful things. Keep it up. I'm looking forward to reading more.

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  2. So this blog totally made me miss you so much more! But I am super excited to read what you have to say. You've always been so good with words and I know God speaks through you constantly. :) love you so much and I'm totally gonna stalk this thing. :P

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  3. Tori, this was amazing! You're such a talented writer! This made me think so much... and if there is one thing I've learned in college, it IS that God is God, and I so am not! :)

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