In the Morning.

God makes me a morning person.

Seriously, if there is something I need to be awake and alert and happy for even when I have gotten less than the recommended amount of sleep, I will wake up before the alarm and feel completely rested.  It's nuts.

Today is Saturday, my only day of the week with an opportunity to sleep in, and this is the first Saturday I've had the chance to in a while.  So obviously, what happens on this fine morning at about 6:45?  I not only wake up, I wake up in the mood of Cinderella.  If I didn't have four friends staying with me this weekend, I probably would have danced around singing as I made the bed and cooked breakfast.  It would have sounded pretty bad, but no one sounds like Cinderella when they sing in the morning anyway.

Since there are four other people here this weekend instead of the usual me, I didn't want to wake up anyone else (the Keurig is SO LOUD when you are trying to be quiet) so I decided to take the time to  sit with my coffee and read my bible.

Confession: I haven't had a quiet time more than 2 minutes long in like a week and a half.

I have been reading through 1 Kings lately and have now come to chapters 17 and 18, in which one of my all time favorite bible dudes is introduced.  Elijah, what a stud.  I have read/heard the parts of the bible where Elijah is on the scene a zillion times over the years in sunday school and at VBS and in bible studies.  This morning I read the first 19 verses of chapter 18, and one of my favorite things that God does happened.  The bible is NEVER irrelevant.  Seriously, God's word is always applicable no matter how many times you've read a verse or a story or studied a character, God uses things you've heard over and over to teach you something new each time come across it.  And He will.  Frequently, in my case.

So I think we can all agree that college/the years right after high school can be weird.  It's an odd place where it feels permanent and like a transition at the same time. Sometimes it's like puberty all over again.
Hello awkward me from 10 years ago, no offense, but I thought I left you in my diary from 6th grade.
Anywho, something that I have been learning about myself since being in this lovely land of forever transition is that I have a thing about trust. As in, a serious lack of trust.  I struggle with letting other people handle things for me,  like if there was a group for "Backseat Drivers Anonymous" or a more general "Control Freaks Anonymous" I would be there every week.  Turns out this whole trust issue effects my relationship with the Lord.  (Go figure, right?)  And as I was reading and journaling about Elijah going to talk to King Ahab, and running into Obadiah on the way, and the famine, and the prophets in the caves, and the whole meet me at Mt. Carmel 'cause you're goin' down speech, I realized something: I don't use parentheses when I write out prayers.

So?

SO, I don't use parentheses, because God already knows EVERY single thought in my head, EVERY hair covering my head (and my bathroom floor), and EVERYTHING I feel and desire, AND he can handle not only my sin, but also all of my epic run on sentences.  I guess I just don't feel the need to add side-notes (like about hair on the bathroom floor) when I am talking to God because He genuinely knows me inside and out.  All of me.  Every. Last. Bit.

Knowing this, you would think I would trust Him more and obey without question. But I do question...I question A LOT.  In just these two chapters of 1 Kings (17-18), Elijah continuously obeys without question.
Go hide by the Wadi Cherith where it enters the Jordan.
Get up and go to Zarephath.
Go to King Ahab because the rain is coming.

And Elijah goes each time. He didn't use his time of waiting as an excuse to go all mediocre in his relationship with God.  He was listening and heard God, and obeyed each time.  He didn't try and make excuses, or talk God out of it, or ask any questions about how he would survive.  He trusted, and even if he did doubt, clearly his love for God and the love he knew God has for him outweighed any doubts or fear.  God didn't have to give Elijah the game plan, or check in with him before each new move.

That's why I got up almost an hour and a half before my alarm today.  So that I could read about Elijah, and God could talk to me alone and uninterrupted to remind me of who He is and to whom I belong.

"Let me experience Your faithful love in the morning for I trust in You.  Reveal to me the way I should go, because I long for You."
Psalm 143:8